I am a happy woman. I have been outside digging, raking leaves and hauling stuff away for several hours the last couple of days. I am energized, relaxed, excited about my visions for the spring. My body is feeling stronger and I do not resent the work that awaits me when I come back in to my office.
How can it be so simple? Why didn't I do this ages ago? Why do we resist when that little voice is saying "I know what you need. Just listen".
I notice that much of the comfort of this work for me is in the smell. Dirt is nectar for my soul. Perhaps it's because I am a Virgo (earth sign) with five planets in Virgo. But I also think it has to do with my childhood. I grew up in the country in upstate New York. My entire childhood played out in the acres that surrounded us - five that my parents owned and many more that were undeveloped adjacent to our property. My first profound spiritual experience occurred while lying in a field of violets in the spring. I felt the certainty of my connection to God/Life/Love, and I have carried it with me ever since. Fall was spent raking leaves and leaping into the piles; winter days found us sledding down the hill by the barn; we passed the summer evenings playing kickball on freshly mown grass and the days splashing around in the creek down the hill. I spent hours reading in a treehouse up in a 150 year old elm and marveled at the return of the irises every April. My favorite place to lay and dream was under the grape arbor - it was dark and cool and secret and dripping with huge, succulent, purple grapes.
My life choices brought me to this place - a rectangle of land with a blue house in the middle of a very large city in Texas. We chose property that is still a bit wild and untamed. There are huge live oak trees and too much bamboo and overgrown corners that need attention. The butterflies love it, a family of Great Horned Owls chose to teach their babies to fly here a few years ago, all the cats in the hood hang out in our garden (the coolest litter box around), and the child explorer/dreamer in me is waking up by spending time out there - just messing around without a plan.
So today I bought a grape vine at Home Depot to plant this spring. I think I'll create another place to lay and dream.