Monday, October 4, 2010

Full Plate vs Empty Mind

Two and a half months since my last post.  When I began this I didn't anticipate the many changes that would transpire in my life...a larger role in running Swan Songs, health challenges that demand my attention and changes in relationships with family and friends that have thrown me off balance at times. 

Yoga instructor Rodney Yee says that balance is not a static thing - you fall out of balance and come back into balance...there is constant motion and fluidity.  I notice that in my life and in my garden.  Just when I've given up hope on myself or my shrimp plant, the rain will fall, a friend will say the perfect thing, a gift will appear that is exactly what I need, the weather will cool and suddenly my stressed plant or spirit are full of life and vitality.  The hard part is trusting that. 

My mother-in-law now lives at a facility close to us and she is getting more of my attention than my garden.  She has Alzheimer's and as her mind begins to unravel she becomes more and more childlike and wears her heart on her sleeve like never before.  She has a way of leaning in to Chris, my husband and her son, and sitting forehead to forehead for awhile - she seems to find that comforting.  The other night I received a blessing from a joyful Tibetan lama and he did the same thing - forehead to forehead for a profound moment of connection.  Wherever we find the support to empty our minds and lighten our burdens, we should lean into it.

With temperatures in the high 90's for the last couple of months, issues with migraine headaches, too much on my plate and too many mosquitoes, I wasn't leaning into my garden.  As the weather shifts and the temperature drops I find myself wandering around out there or simply sitting on the porch being still, seeking balance. 

We leave for a three week tour in a couple of days, so the garden will have to wait once again.  It's always there when I return though, waiting to bless me as deeply as a Buddhist monk...and he would be the first one to remind me of that.    

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